I happened upon this article on Match.com when I logged into BuckyStars ATT wireless connect. Stupid landing pages, but hey what’s this? Usually I get annoyed that there’s a landing page in the first place. If I’m going onto the Internet at BuckyStars, its for damn sure I’m not looking to read their landing page. I mean really! What in tarnation could they possibly offer me that I would be interested in?

Well wouldn’t you know it just as I was hit my blog link all of a sudden I see a title that reads: How to prep your place for a date. Of course I had to go back and read what they had to say. I mean usually most “advice” sites are going to emasculate men into believing they need to be little wussies with no balls to get the job done. In most instances its exactly why men need dating sites in the first place. They do not have the social skills to pick up a woman in a normal social environment. As in face to face meet up like a bar, club, book store, coffee shop what not.

I do believe I owe an entire other post to the other extreme where some men are acting out aggressive fantasies on blogs of who they wish to be. Reading some “field reports” you would have to believe the man in question to be a God to pull off some of the crap I’ve read. But I digress this discussion for another time.

So I want to review this Match.com article piece by piece.

Make your space look appealing to the opposite sex…
This applies especially to men, whose pads often resemble frat houses filled with mountains of laundry, grime-covered sports gear and empty beer bottles. First, clean up the mess — laundry in particular. “I’ve always found that the scent of dirty, sweaty clothes permeates single men’s apartments, so when I first visited my now-boyfriend Kevin’s apartment, I was happy to see that he had a real laundry basket with a lid,” says Esther, 31. No need to buy a whole new set of furniture — folding a chenille blanket over the back of your austere leather sofa or adding some flowers can do wonders. “When I first saw my boyfriend’s place it was pretty unimpressive, but he had a vase of daffodils in the living room, which made a difference,” says one 25-year-old who prefers to remain anonymous. “It showed he knew how to make an effort and was willing to do so for me.”

For the most part I would agree with this section of the article. However being well-versed in the scientific appeal of pheromones having sweaty clothing around can help you in many instances. You don’t need your nasty encrusted underwear around. While having a place for laundry and keeping your love lair clean it is also important to not make it sterile. I went over a friends house once and the place looked like it was devoid of any personality. It seemed like books and pictures were strategically hung and placed to bring up conversations. While normally this is a very good idea, these things need to have “VALUE” to you and not just be crap you read about in some PUA forum somewhere. Don’t get a book on magic or hypnosis or whatever unless it is something that you have read and are interested in. Another; don’t be a faker, woman can sense when all you are trying to do is impress them. While it might make an initial impression you are sure to be sleeping alone if that’s all its for. The impression should come from the interest it provokes, initially from the item, but the real interest should be directed towards you for being an interesting person for reading this to begin with.

I totally disagree with the flowers crap. What are you a freaking girl or a man? Holy freaking crap are you serious? Flowers? An interesting center piece is what you need. Get yourself some really cool art as a center piece, maybe some candles, scented if you really must cover the smell but remember your pheromones are important. Have a bowl with assorted items that have been left by other women. It’s a GREAT little “pre-selection” switch flipper when a woman sees an earing or thong, or a shoe in the bowl. Whats that, inevitably she will ask? Oh that’s the bowl with a sly smile and move on. I just asked the Barista Melissa at BuckyStars, a cute girl, what she would think if she walked in to see flowers on the table of a guy she is dating. Her response: “He’s either married or gay!” Come on guys, don’t be that guy. The chick who wants to remain anonymous who was impressed by the guy making an effort, most likely is the chick I’ll be doing later on tonight.

Edit what’s on your bookshelves: And while you’re at it stash away your masculinity. When I read this I almost spit out my coffee and started cursing. Who the fuck wrote this crap anyway I asked? The by line reads Celeste Perron. Of course you should hide away all your books with beautiful women and interesting male articles in them. My God you wouldn’t want the woman over your apartment to think you look at other women. While you’re at it you might want to tie your dick and balls between your ass-cheeks and wear a dress! I mean God forbid you give her the idea you might be interested in hot bodies and women in lingerie. Isn’t it funny that whenever I have woman over they always pick up my copies of Maxim or FHM before anything else. It’s a damn good way to let you know if she might be interested in a little kinky threesome fun too.

The rest of it seems like OK for the most part, but holy BeJezus I can almost feel my masculinity ripping out of my soul and being dragged across the floor. Sometime in the future I’ll do an entire post dedicated to how you should hook up your apartment to make it into your very own Love Lair.

Rock on dudes!